Sometimes a thought pops into my head and just… stays there. Like a tiny uninvited houseguest that refuses to leave until I figure it out.

This one came courtesy of Father’s Day — and all the great dads I know. The question that wouldn’t quit?

What makes a real man?

As a teenager, my answer was embarrassingly shallow. Fancy clothes, flashy cars, plenty of cash. Oh yes, those were the real men. (I cringe just typing that.)

As I got older, I raised the bar. I started looking for someone who wouldn’t lead a woman on, treated people with respect, and actually showed up when it mattered. My tastes matured. Thank goodness.

Now, after a long and full life, I’ve fine-tuned it even more.

A real man has integrity — especially when no one’s watching. He puts others first. He makes you feel safe. He honors his wife and his friends. He’s reliable, resilient, resourceful — and he will protect the people he loves, no matter how hard things get.

The first real man I ever met was my dad. The second was my husband.

And I have proof.

When my future husband first came to my house, he met my cat. She was… not a fan of men. Or dating. Or anyone interrupting her routines, honestly. Every guy who tried to pet her got bitten for his trouble. First dates were plentiful. Second dates? Rare.

So naturally, she bit my husband. On the nose.

You know what he did? He came back. Didn’t fuss, didn’t complain, wasn’t resentful toward a nine – pound furry grudge-holder. He put my needs — meaning: the love of my ridiculous cat — before his own dignity. Eventually, he won her over.

That’s resilience.

And resourcefulness? Have you ever played the game where you ask friends who they’d want to be stranded on a desert island with? Ninety-nine percent of ours choose my husband — because they know, without a doubt, he would figure out how to get everyone home.

A real-life Renaissance man. With nose scars.

So yes — I have a very clear idea of what makes a real man. And I happen to be married to one.

So this Father’s Day, raise a glass to the real ones. The steady ones. The ones who come back after the cat bites them on the nose and never mention it again. They’re out there — and the world feels a little steadier when they’re around. Not everyone finds one. But if you’re lucky enough to have one in your life… hold on tight. Even if your cat takes a few tries to agree.

—Peni

P.S. The real men in my life have always shown up for the ones they love — even the four-legged ones. If you have a little one who needs help understanding what it means to care for someone with patience and heart, Heart Trouble for ZZ might be just the right read. It’s a gentle story about loving someone through the hard stuff. Perfect for a Father’s Day cuddle on the couch. 🐾