When it comes to first impressions, I’ve learned something about myself: I’m a terrible judge of character.

Take, for example, a gal I met a few months ago. She talked non-stop, was loud, and basically the polar opposite of anyone I’d ever call a friend. Definitely NOT my cup of tea. Or so I thought after our brief meet-and-greet. But guess what? I was completely wrong. That first impression was just a snapshot—not the whole picture. Turns out, she’s sweet, caring, and downright hilarious. The kind of friend anyone would be lucky to have. I’m so glad I gave her a chance.

Then there was the guy who came across as an opinionated know-it-all. I was instantly turned off. But as I got to know him, I discovered something unexpected—he wasn’t arrogant, he was anxious. Nervous that people wouldn’t like him, he filled every silence with facts to seem “worthy.” Once we got comfortable with each other, he relaxed, stopped reciting trivia, and guess what? We became friends simply because we liked each other—not because he was trying to impress me.

And then there was the woman who seemed totally scattered—her conversation zig-zagged all over the place, and her fashion sense? Let’s just say it was bold. But then she shared that she and her husband were artists, and suddenly, her creative flair made perfect sense. Her unique view of the world? It was captivating. Her wardrobe? A masterpiece of its own. I’m so thankful I didn’t let a quirky first impression get in the way of a wonderful connection.

Of course, I know I’m not always a shining example of a great first impression either. People sometimes think I’m standoffish or even a little full of myself. The truth? I’m just shy. I often don’t know what to say in those early moments, and it takes me a while to warm up. I want people to give me grace until they get to know the real me—so it’s only fair that I offer that same grace in return.

And let’s be honest—misleading first impressions aren’t limited to people. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ordered a gorgeous-looking meal at a fancy restaurant, thinking, This is going to be amazing!…only to take a bite and wonder if the chef accidentally grabbed the salt instead of sugar.

Or wine! Have you ever picked a bottle just because the label was fancy or the name sounded exotic? Me too. And more than once I’ve taken a sip and thought, Well, that tastes like regret. I should’ve stuck with the plain-Jane bottle that I knew was good.

So here’s my reminder to myself—and maybe to you too: Give things time. People (and food…and wine…) are more than just their first impressions.

Let’s give each other—and ourselves—a little grace. Sometimes the most beautiful connections (and the best bottles of wine) come in the most unexpected packaging.

—Peni