I’m a notoriously healthy eater—whole foods, lots of veggies, the works. Desserts? Usually not my thing. But… I do love a good white cake. And when it comes to white sheet cake, Costco’s takes the (ahem) cake. It’s the one time sugar and preservatives make my mouth water.

But wait—you’re wondering, what about all those calories in cake?

Well, here’s the thing: if you follow “Peni’s Five Rules of Eating Cake,” the calories magically disappear.

What? You’ve never heard of these miraculous rules? Let me enlighten you:

There are no calories in cake if…

1. You eat it while standing.
2. Your slice has crooked sides.
3. It’s your birthday.
4. The cake isn’t cold.
5. You smile while eating.

And there you have it—five foolproof ways to enjoy cake without a single worry about calories. Maybe these rules apply to other desserts, too. Try them out and let me know!

Bon appétit!

-Peni