There are many things in life I try to avoid.

Pain is very high on that list… somewhere between doing taxes and cleaning out the refrigerator.

I do not like pain.

But really… who does?

Even though I’m not usually a “take a pill to fix it” type of person (diet and exercise is my mantra), I will absolutely take a drug to make pain go away.

So when I had my shoulder surgery last week, I knew it was medicine time. I had the dreaded narcotics ready the moment I came out of the operating room.

I took the pills exactly as prescribed… mostly because the bottle said “every four hours,” and I didn’t want to disappoint the pharmacist.

Now, I really dislike narcotics. 

They make me feel like I’d spent the afternoon on a carnival ride I never agreed to get on. The nausea, the headache, the fuzzy, all-around yucky feeling they give me. But still… they beat pain.

It’s funny though. I can’t wait to go off narcotics the minute I feel better. But I know people who can’t wait to go on them because they love the way they make them feel.

And then they stay on them.

And then… well, that’s how addiction sometimes begins.

It’s strange how our bodies react so differently to the same thing, isn’t it?

For me … narcotics? Absolutely not.

But a good glass of wine?

Now that’s a hobby I could accidentally become very committed to.

Let’s just say I’m one sip away from a very enthusiastic relationship with a vineyard somewhere.

See? We’re all wired differently.

But this whole experience got me thinking about pain in general.

There’s the obvious physical pain—sore shoulders, aching backs, stubbed toes that somehow feel like life-ending events.

But then there are the other kinds of pain. The invisible ones.

Sadness.
Regret.
Guilt.
Grief.
Helplessness.

Those pains don’t show up on an X-ray, but they can hurt just as much.

And that’s where people sometimes try to numb the feeling.

Maybe with medication.
Maybe with alcohol.
Maybe with eating.
Maybe with shopping.
Maybe with chocolate. (Let’s be honest, chocolate has saved many of us on a bad day.)

Anything to quiet the ache for a little while.

Now, if I actually knew the perfect cure for that kind of pain, this blog would probably go viral and I’d finally start making money from my writing.

Sadly, I don’t have the miracle answer.

But I do know this:

You’re not the only one who has felt that kind of pain.

Not even close.

Every single one of us has carried something heavy at one point or another. Every one of us has tried to cope the best way we know how.

So if you’re struggling with something today, please remember this:

You are not alone.

And you are definitely not a total loser.

Even if your shoulder hurts.

Or your heart does.

Maybe the real trick isn’t eliminating pain.

Maybe it’s learning healthier ways to carry it.

Preferably ones that don’t involve narcotics, ten pounds of chocolate, or ordering things online at midnight that we definitely do not need.

-Peni

P.S. One of the reasons I write stories for children is because life will eventually hand them hard moments too. If they can learn courage, resilience, and self-belief early, maybe they’ll be a little better prepared when pain—of any kind—shows up.